i wish i cud

today..

i had promise to myself that i wont hurt myself again..
the purpose that i make that promise it is because i dont want be a stupid girl.
if i wont do this i am afraid that i'll get comfort by that feeling.
it is has nothing to do with him.
me,the one that created that problem.
okay..
i am now trying very hard to forget about him.
i am deleting him slowly..i hope i can make it..
i cant be friend with him.
it is because i'll destroy the friendship with my own feeling,
my feeling toward him is very strong.
no one can imagine that..
it is nothing to do with him.
it is just me..my feeling..and my thought..
he just ordinary man that i got crushed on him without i noticed it..
and that feeling become more deep..
also without i noticed it..
he never said sweet word to me..
but just me that interpret what he had said into sweet words..
i know that he is very gentle to me..
it is because he is..
he is being gentle to everyone he know..
that why sometimes i feel very comfort with him..
and maked my feeling toward him more deeper.
and that why i wont find him again..
he makes me comfort.
and i hate that he makes me like that,
because it makes me want to own him!!
without i noticed..
he makes me cried all alone..
i cried even when i curious about his feeling,
i cried again when i miss him,
the stupid things happen to myself is,
i laugh stupidly when i remember his sweet smile,
i laugh likes no tomorrow when i remember his word
are this love?
if this is love i think it is very hard to me..
i never find my true love..
i hope this is not my true love,,
because i been very cruel to myself.
from now i promise to myself that
i'll just let him go,
i wont find him again.
just let the memories that i create myself be a beautiful wound in my heart..
i'll miss the feeling that i missing him so much..
n just remember,it is not because im tired wishing n hoping to you..
just to be more fair to myself..
I love myself than I love u..

::::::::dis one was credited to CIPOT ::::::::::::::